This past week I lost just one pound. I'm still glad the scale keeps going down, but I know I can do better. You see, I've had trouble with temptations and nibbling, and with hunger in general. From a Medifast/Take Shape For Life perspective, this is not good. If I stick with the program 100% I should not feel hungry and the temptations should be less. But from a practical perspective, I have been seriously restricted for 4 months, and I've had to deal with so much food around me that I can't have. 100% seems unrealistic, and yet if I don't do it 100% then I'm reducing the science of Medifast to just a calorie counting program. It's much more than that. I want the fat-burning state that I had a month ago, but I don't see how I can be THAT strong without isolating myself. I've really been trying my best, but I do falter a lot. I have NEVER stayed with a program this long, or lost this much (my previous "record" was when I lost 40 pounds in a year in my mid twenties).
So all I can do is continue to take one day at a time. I'm, once again, starting my week super-focused, even as I've had to shop for groceries for my family and put it all away in the fridge and pantry, knowing most of it I can't have.
On a very positive, proud note, yesterday I went with my family to a local indoor/outdoor amusement park. I felt confident to get into a go cart (used to worry I was too big), but I didn't drive (still working on confidence in trying new things). But I tried it...step one! Then I tried a ropes course...also used to be too big, but now I'm well under the max. weight. But I don't care for heights. I did it because I knew in my heart that I could and I wanted to prove it to myself. So I harnessed up and up I went! But wow, that was scary! Looks much easier from below! And my brain didn't acknowledge the harness I was in...it just chanted "You're gonna die, you're gonna die!!" But as I watched about 8 preteen girls dancing around on the ropes like they were no big deal, I decided I couldn't be shown up! And I SLOWLY crept across course #1, then onto another, and another. I was ready to say, "Okay, I've proved enough" when I realized I still had to cross BACK in order to go DOWN! And so I did...because I really wanted to go back down!
I'm a survivor! Bucket list down by one!