Monday, June 23, 2014

Three Month Totals and Musings

June 22nd marked 3 months on my Medifast Journey.  I've decided to post numbers today...something that has been very hard for me to disclose.  But all they are is numbers.  How I look and feel, and my overall health is what is important. 
 
On March 22, 2014, on my new digital scale, I weighed in at 264.8.  On June 22, 2014, I weighed in at 224.8 exactly! (And yes, those "points" mean a lot to me!)  I lost 40 pounds!

I won't list all my measurements, but my 3 month losses are as follows:  Chest= 3in., Waist= 4in., Hips= 2.5 in., Thigh= 3inches.  I am down 2 full sizes in clothes, and I'm nearing the next size down. 

I'm ecstatic when I stop and think about how long I've struggled to find something that works, and then how far I've come so fast.  And yet I still find myself anxious for the scale to go down and the next size down to fit because I so badly want to stop being fat forever!!  The emotions don't stop!

Unfortunately, I still have all the same addictions I had on day one.  I cheat in little ways nearly every day.  At first I was able to avoid "real" food by allowing my husband and my two kids (18 and 11) to "fend for themselves".  I stayed out of the kitchen and away from food that wasn't on my program.  I avoided the pantry and had a "mom shelf" in the fridge.  But as time has passed, I see that my family is not eating the way I'd like...I don't see enough veggies being consumed, and too much processed stuff and eating out.  So I've put myself back in the kitchen some to try to fix this.  And what do I do?  I nibble.  I try all the tricks (mints, etc) to prevent this, but often I WANT to nibble...and it always leads to more that what I'd intended.  Some days I'm very strong and calm and others I'm a mess and want to eat everything in sight.  I still need work!!  And lots of it.  But I'm just not sure where to get help.  Even therapists start by sending me to a nutritionist (been there-not the issue) and weight watchers (done that program 3 or 4 times).  It's not knowledge or program.  It's love of food, emotional eating, sugar and carb addiction.  I have yet to read a book that truly helps (and I've read SO MANY).  I even tried Overeater's Anonymous for a while.  I've been asking God for deliverance and help since I was a teen! 

I believe I will be in a daily battle over this for the rest of my life.  The biggest job now is to release another 40-50 pounds, then I need to learn to maintain.  The thought of it fills me with fear.  So I can only focus on today.

I'm SO GRATEFUL for where I am right now.  I feel so much better!  I move better, I'm happier, I can buy most of my clothes in stores now (as opposed to online plus size stores).  But I can't let down my guard.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Week 13

No fanfare this week...just down 1/2 pound for a total of 39 pounds.  Tomorrow marks 3 months, so I'll do my measurements. 

Monday, June 16, 2014

Week 12

I'm a little delayed in posting my 12 week totals. I went away for the weekend with friends.  But I took my portable scale and weighed in on time (Sat. morning, June 14).  I lost 2 pounds this past week, for a total of 38.6.  I'm very happy with that.

This weekend, as I traveled with friends, I discovered that it is possible to stay on track with my program even while vacationing...at least for 3 days!  We ate in restaurants a total of 5 times.  My plan was to ask the cooks to prepare my meal specially, but I chickened out.  I chose a menu item and just had them remove what I couldn't have.  So I ate a grilled Chicken Salad 3 times!!  They were all bigger than what I needed, but I just didn't finish them, and I was careful with the dressing.  But another meal that worked for me was a garden omelet made with egg beaters.  It was already on the menu.  What I didn't do, but hopefully will be bold enough to try soon, is ask for the chicken/eggs to be cooked without oil.  But for this "vacation" experience, I just took it as prepared. 

I also enlisted the girls I was traveling with to be aware of my situation, and help me to remember to eat on time (every 2-3 hours).  However, that was no problem for them since I kept saying "I'm hungry!".  I know I shouldn't still be hungry on this program, but I still have days that I am.  It's good to be hungry at meal time, but I often feel hunger about 20min. after a meal.  I've been told it  is digestion, but it sure feels like I'm hungry!  But I drank water (and a few Diet Cokes :), and kept myself distracted. 

We visited Hershey, PA, so while at Chocolate World I did allow myself two dark chocolate Hershey's miniatures after the ride.  At another point I also had a mini milk chocolate. 

Glad to be home where eating right is easier, but glad I didn't pass up the opportunity just because of my program.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Week 11

This past week was nerve-wracking, after all the events and the weight gain from last week.  I had a couple minor slips.  But the Medifast system works, because I had a 7 pound loss this week!  So my 3 pound gain from last week was recovered, plus another 4. A friend of mine once suggested I look at weight loss in terms of sticks of butter...each pound is 4 sticks.  So even if I only lose 1/2 pound I can still imagine it as two less "sticks" of fat on my body!  So, to date I have lost 146 sticks of butter!

Some facts I have been very aware of this week:  1.Drinking water is key!  Not sure all the science behind it, but it makes a difference.  I chose to weigh in every day this week and I could see a loss when I drank plenty of water the day before, but if I didn't have enough water and consumed more sodium than usual, I stayed the same.
2. Not every bite "off program" will ruin my progress...but high sodium and breads are the biggest culprits in those unexpected weight gains. Bread=bad news for Medifast users. 
3. When I justify going off program, I have to deal with the gain and then just get right back on track.  But I know if I justify too much, I may not get back on one day.  So I will be very cautious in what I decide is an "OK" time to splurge.  Life happens, but I can control more of it than I think, I think! :)

Monday, June 2, 2014

Week Ten: A Roller Coaster of Events

Week ten has been a roller coaster of events!! My son graduated from high school on Tuesday, my husband's grandmother passed away at age 99 and we attended her funeral on Thursday, and my daughter was promoted from 5th grade to 6th grade in a ceremony on Thursday evening.  (All events involved food). All other days this past week, especially Friday, were spent preparing for a big graduation party for my son.  The party was Saturday, here at home, and I made food for over 50 people (although not quite that many actually came).  The menu included a few of my son's favorites, along with  general finger foods and a cake. 
So how did I manage to stick to my Medifast program?  Um. Well. I didn't.  Oh, I tried all week, and did quite well most days.  But I was not able to control my environment or my schedule, so my first difficulty was eating on time.  And, of course, all week there were SERIOUS temptations.  Friday proved the worst, as I made my son's favorite...and MY favorite...Broccoli Casserole!  By evening I had taste-tested several things, all really bad for the program.  Saturday morning I weighed in to a weight gain.  Sat. I started out great on my program, but forgot to eat again because I was so busy in the kitchen.  Finally I just made a plate of "real" food and sat down with guests for a break.  That led to just abandoning the program for the day.  Sodium was a huge factor in my eating, so I knew to expect another weight gain.  Sunday, however, I was back to the regiment! 
THE NUMBERS:  So, Saturday morning showed a weight gain for the week of 3.2 pounds. That went up again on Sunday by another pound.  Today, however (Monday), I'm back down 2.  So I anticipate a "full recovery" by next weigh-in (Saturday).  I have more events coming up, but none that I have to cook for, and I believe the rest will be much less tempting and easier to deal with.  Wish me luck!  (I'm not jumping ship by any means!)